Home » Uncategorized » “Damaged Goods”

 

Traveling back from Oregon I sat next to a Young Lady and her newborn baby girl, (I would guess in her mid-20’s), on a plane heading back to Kansas City. She noticed my child abuse awareness shirt, which opened up conversation about the subject. Not long into our conversation she opened up about her abuse.

She shared with me that when she was 11 years old her best friend’s older 19 year old brother molested her. He would give her money and such for doing sexual things to him. She eventually quit seeing her best friend because she wanted the abuse to stop, she never told anyone.

The reason that I am putting this down is that she said something very profound and very true during this conversation.

She shared that, due to the abuse, she did not have any boyfriends/relationships until she was 19 years old. For what it is worth she is an incredibly beautiful young woman, and she gave me the impression that she did not see herself as such. She found someone that she really cared about, someone she felt that she could talk to. She thought that she could share something with him that she was unable to do with anyone up until that moment.

She opened up about what happened to her when she was 11 years old, and as she was telling her boyfriend she saw a look on his face that she would never forget. She said that at the moment she opened up about the abuse, until he broke up with her days later, his reactions were clearly that, “she was damaged goods”. He reaffirmed all that she had been feeling for all of these years, that she was indeed “damaged goods”.

Really an 11 year old girl who has been preyed upon by an adult is now “damaged goods”? That is how she was feeling all those years, even though it is wrong at every level, “damaged goods” is as good a way to describe the feeling one goes through when being molested at any age, and keeping silent about it.

This is how our society looks at this as well, by the way that we treat and look at child abuse. Do not talk about it, and let’s make this go away as soon as possible, that is the current norm.

The “damaged goods” are those that have preyed on our innocent children. They are the true “damaged goods”! An abused child that has been hurt is counting on their loved ones around them to ensure that damage does not result from the abuse. Their souls have every right to feel whole and free from the abuse of others evil deeds.

It is no different than being stabbed or cut. If nothing is done it will bleed until it is tended to. Depending on how bad the cut is, will determine how much care is needed to dress the wound and help it to heal.

To do nothing will mean that it will continue to bleed to the point that it can take the life from someone. It is the hope of all that would hurt our children; that we do not address these wounds because it allows them to continue to hurt more and more children.

They know that these types of wounds cut so deep that people do not treat them; they do not want to have to deal with it. That is precisely what gives these Child Rapist/Abusers their power.

The innocent children are the wounded ones, which are simply looking to be loved and cared for, so that they can heal. To have loved ones embrace the abuse, care for them and to help them face those that have harmed them.

We must do what it takes to place the “damaged goods” perception where it needs to reside, that is to those that would hurt our children. No child, no adult, should ever feel like “damaged goods”, no matter the abuse.

The loved ones around them need to take that responsibility on. To ensure that they are doing everything they can to remove any look or action that would ever give a wounded soul the feeling that they are “damaged goods”.

When a child is abused and is immediately embraced by loved ones, seriously dealt with through our legal system, this is the way all involved will be able to heal and become whole again. To do nothing or little to nothing, puts the “damaged goods” on our abused children and empowers – enables their abuser.

We must embrace the abuse as well as our abused children knowing that it will redirect the “damaged goods” where it needs to be placed, in the hearts and souls of those that would hurt our children. When we embrace the abuse we must use love and compassion as we deal with every aspect of it, including when dealing with the abusers.

 

Krazy Karl